Hormones are a bitch. You’ve infected me with this disease from birth. Fortunately they are my hormones, not yours. I’ve evolved to control them. Yeah, that’s right, I’M IN CONTROL. Your methods of seduction from TV, Movies, and whatever else the “norm” seem to worship  is beyond me. I will not conform and fall into your trap. So quit trying, you won’t get anywhere.

I DON”T TRUST YOU! (Yeah, double quotes bitch).

I was at chipottle (spelling?) with Janelle today enjoying a godly burrito. I swear I’m addicted to the place. While we were there I peered outside to see one of the most gorgeous girls I’ve ever seen. Long dark hair and big beautiful eyes caused my heart to skip a beat (the good kind of course. Maybe it was the burrito?). She was about five feet and had the perfect body type. Slim, but still had plenty in all the right places. I noticed makeup, but I could still see her freckles as if they were waving at me to say hello. She was with three of her friends which two of them were slightly attractive as well, but nothing compared to her. She was probably 18 and still in highschool (I’m only 21 assholes) which added to her beauty with a hint of cuteness. Did I also mention she was a latino? Gorgeous darker skin and lips I could kiss all day 24/7.

Unfortunately I didn’t say hello. I was tempted several times to do so (no not the religious kind). I typically don’t become nervous talking with girls as I am fairly attractive and interesting to most (it’s a family curse). But dwealing on whether I should or should not ended up making me a little uneasy.

There are several reason why I didn’t say hello. One, every time I get with a girl, I fall for her, but the fear of giving this girl my all and not giving myself and my dreams scares the shit out of me. I’m an all or nothing kind of guy and once I start something, I finish it, and I make a damn good thing of it too. Therefor did I really want another girl in my life? Would I just end up creating more termoil and dissappointment in my life by starting something and having to cut it off?

The world is full of women, sure. But it’s very rare that TRUELY beautiful girls are not taken. I sure hate seeing a perfect women with some stupid ass lazy dork. I would steal them from their “man”(more like boy), but I tend to be much more of a gentleman. Maybe this girl (if she was single) would have been worth the risk? I don’t know. But right now, I’m in a new place, around new people, at a new job, and I have little time to worry about these types of things. I just hope I get more opportunities in the future to meet such gorgeous girls.

An email was sent to me by a family member, which was a chain message from another family member. It seems as if this chain letter included an email which was “written by Bill Cosby”. It was complete bullshit and I ended up providing a link to the site which proved it was not Bill Cosby but some redneck who watches fox news.

Anyway, I ended up replying to all the recipients and telling them if they believe this right wing foxified crap, they aren’t very intelligent. It was all about how all muslims are evil and they want to kill you, liberals are the reason America is failing, blah blah blah.

It turns out my reply, while being a reply to all Americans, was unfortunately taken personally by a family member.  I felt SO BAD. After his reply asking me why I thought I knew how the world works being 21, I slowly realized I may have hurt him.

See, in my mind, I believe you need to look at all people and their situations, lives, etc, and then reply non-violently. Break out of the paradigm if you will. I could have avoided the entire thing by just providing the evidence the post was not Bill Cosby, and then leaving it at that.

This was not done, and I am beating myself up about it. I wish I had put more thought into it and avoided the feeling I have right now.

Life is a journey. I may hurt some folks in my quest to be a better person. Fortunately, I learn from my mistakes and have apologized.

So living in northern Virginia has re-confirmed some things which I already knew. People will do pretty much anything for money. I seem to have already known this, but hadn’t seen any greed (apart from the normal government crap) in a while.

It’s a little disturbing, but not surprising.

I remember reading a story about some box in your car which tracks how fast and where you’ve traveled in your car: http://ericpetersautos.com/2012/04/19/your-car-wont-be-beginning-in-2015/. This box would be used by the government, etc, etc. While I can’t confirm the authenticity of this, it was something which was quite interesting. Of course I won’t dive too deep into that article in this posting because, well, it’s a completely different subject. However, there was a comment by a friend of mine after reading this which rattled my soul a little. It was quite short too, but for some reason it just struck something within me with a spiked metal bat.

The few words which we spoken are “Nothing surprises me anymore“. I didn’t immediately get all worked up over it, but shortly after it started to bother me. Now, I’m the kind of guy who dwels on things. I over think EVERYTHING. It’s just me. Shortly after, I started getting that sick feeling in my stomach while repeating several things in my mind. “Have I become numb like my friend?”, “Why was I agreeing with my friend? What’s wrong me with?”. Parts of me were wanting to blow shit up and cause chaos. However, I of course refrained since it was simply a reaction to the lack of control I have over things in the world.

Anyways, this all leads to the actual reason for this blog post. It seems as if one of my coworkers has started smoking, walks around the building making sure people see his pack of cigarettes, and asks to be included when they all go for a smoke break. All for one simple purpose – to get a bonus at the end of the year for quitting smoking.

So wait, you’re ready to put yourself at risk for a TERMINAL cancer simply for $500 at the end of the year?

*sigh*. Some things don’t surprise me anymore. hehe.

I’ve moved to northern Virginia to work for ServInt and I LOVE IT.

Staying with my sister at the moment and we’re looking for a home. We plan on moving in with several other people to make it cheap.

The war, the killing, the poor and punishment for helping them, the hate, the television, and the media. Take it back. I didn’t ask my parents and their parents for this crap yet they let it happen. Maybe it’s not their fault… I don’t blame my family, but I keep thinking I should.

I’ve always been a free thinker. Never followed the example of others. Still to this day I avoid such things. Instead of letting fear control me, I control it to be my moral compass. Since I cannot get rid of fear, I decided to use it for good.

At this point, the following video sums up how I feel:

In short, I don’t want your two party systems. I don’t want your system at all. I want the sky and all of it’s freedom to be my home. Away from all of this shit.

Good bye Facebook. You suck.

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This dude is my coworker. This dude posts random stuff which is hilarious. http://thedudesays.com/

Hehehe, I had to save this somewhere.